I missed New Year's =(
Yep, that's right. No celebration. No fanfare. No kiss. No champagne toast. No noise makers. No embarassing photos. No music. No countdown........
You get the point.
Nope, this New Year's my behind was planted firmly on the couch, where I fell asleep at like 10:30 pm. I know what you're thinking:
Oh how sad......you have no friends and you had to spend New Year's all alone =(
I assure you - THAT, in fact, was NOT the case. Not even close. Part of me wishes that in all actuality, it was the truth!!! I have been dealing with something far more sinister. More evil that anything I have ever encountered!!! I have been dealing with...........
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The Stomach Flu
I want to tell you how unforgiving and dreadful a week this has been. I will spare you the gory details, but let me assure you I do NOT wish this on my worst enemy....and secondly - you may want to buy stock in Proctor & Gamble....because before this season is over, they are going to make a mint off me, my family and a few co-workers!!!
I also want to apologize to all those unsuspecting souls that I unknowingly shared my dreadful gift with. I would NEVER give it to you on purpose. I know you are secretly slamming me with every hateful name and phrase you can think of while donating to P&G's success. I don't blame you!!
Since it is a New Year, I thought instead of focusing on the negatives from this little bug, I would try to look at the positive side =).
I KNOW YOU'RE IN SHOCK............please try to control yourself.
Trying to think of positives when it comes to the stomach flu and it's effects is not an easy task. I think if I try though, I should be able to find a few. Okay let's see....
Thinking.........
Thinking.........
STILL thinking.........
OKAY!!! I got a few.
1. I am willing to bet I have lost about 10lbs!! - Nothing like getting the stomach flu to help you lose those last 10 stubborn pounds before swimsuit season arrives!!! And the only exercise you do is a short brisk walk!!! Maybe we could market and sell it?!?! Whoo Hoo!!! How's that for a positive????
2. I eat less junk =)!! I am now very careful as to what I put in my sensitive little system!!! We all must remember:
WHAT GOES IN........MUST COME OUT!!!!
3. No New Year's hangover!!! That has to be the best positive I can think of!! We all know how MOST New Year's Day's are......and we all know we NEVER plan on it to be that way!!! NO NO NO!!!! This is usually what we start out thinking......
New Year's eve comes.....we sit at work all day with anticipation of yummy food, tasty drinks, and super fun games with friends!! We can't wait to get off work, run home, and change clothes and get our party on!!! YEE HAW!!! In the back of our mind - we are thinking - I have the day off tomorrow and I can FINALLY get caught up from the holiday crap. OH!! I can also take down all my Christmas stuff and get my house back in order.........yeah......keep dreaming pal!!!
NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!
We get all snazzed up and get to our party destination and immediately grab a cocktail and a little plate of finger foods. Stuff like chili cheese dip, little smokies, taco dip.......at the time these sound like FABULOUS choices!! Don't they?? We then meander our way to where a little circle has formed at the table to play one of our "way too much fun" games!!! Did I mention these games are played with mass amounts of alcohol?? Anyone played 3-Man? How about Jerry's Kids?? No? If you haven't then good for you!!! If you have then.....well...then you have my prayers. We sit at the table with our friends playing, drinking, playing, drinking....eating......We ring in the New Year whooping and hollering!!! We hug and tell everyone how much we LOVE them - cause that's what drunk people do =) We love EVERYBODY and we want world peace =)!!
THEN it starts to happen.......
Your mouth starts to get dry.......you feel your tasty little snacks welling up....climbing back from the pit of your stomach to the back of your throat.....MMMM....bet those smokies and chili cheese dip don't seem like such a great idea now, do they?? One of two things is now going to happen.....
A - You will go to the bathroom and discreetly rid your self of the past 3 hours worth of food and drink consumption.....
OR
B - You will find a nice quiet spot to disappear to and pray you aren't missed.
Either way, you're done.
QUE the next morning.....
You awake in what's left of the morning......probably like 11:00 am. You have a whole drumline playing in your head.....every step you take you sway and stumble...Equilibrium???? Ah...overrated.....
You have a severe case of "cotton mouth".....you keep drinking water, like you have been trapped in a desert for days.... Remember all those plans you had??? GONE!!! OUT THE WINDOW!!! The only thing you'll be doing today is trying to keep from vomitting and trying to quiet the drumline......
The funny part is that we not only do that to ourselves once....WE do it EVERY YEAR!!! Duh???
So I guess it really was a positive that yesterday morning there was NO hangover, Joe and I went to breakfast.....did some vegging with a few movies....got out - did a little shopping...and all in all had a really great day!!!
I guess this whole "POSITIVE THINKING" thing, isn't so bad!!
We both STILL have the stomach thing, so we don't go far from our little haven, but we are hoping to get out a bit this weekend!!! I hope you all had a wonderful New Year's and didn't subject yourselves to too much torture!!!
4 comments:
That sux i know a bunch of people who have that & I hope i dotn get it! BTW I'm the one who introduced Jerrys kids at mark and cassie's so you have Me to thank for that dreadful game! but i luv it!
I would have liked to have drank enough for the both of us but I spared myself the misery and partied on Friday instead. That way I was able to lay around all day Saturday and watch football: ) Well hope you get better soon and Happy New Year!!
I don't have the stomach thing that seems to making its way from coast to coast, but i was in a similar boat as you. sick as a dog and writhing in pain for the holiday. But i have to say one thing.... i've never (and i'm not lying, i swear on my mother's grave) i've never drank so much that i've had a hangover the next day. i know what you're gonna say..."she just doesn't drink enough then". Let me assure you, that's not the case. I've drank enough that i've felt the earth spinning on it's axis and had the need to crawl to the bathroom to puke because i knew that if i walked, the centificial forces would rip me off the surface of the planet out into the greater unknown. yes, ive been that drunk. I've just never had the mind splitting headaching , gut wrenching, puke til your eyes hurt, lock me in a dark cave, i'll never drink like that again hangover that seems to accompany the afore mentioned night of binge drinking. sorry gang, can't sympathize with you there, i've never experienced it. (thank god) Happy New Year!
Kelly- your just a party animal! What helps me though is to make sure I eat enough and take something for a headache before I fall asleep/pass out then I wake up fine.
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