Hormones...out of control?!?!?

Okay...so maybe this pregnancy thing is really causing my hormones to make my emotional state COMPLETELY out of whack.......

......or maybe I'm just horribly hateful, suddenly sad, and awfully anxious in every waking moment of my everyday life....

.....I'm SO hoping that's not the case!!

I guess maybe you're kind of wondering what in the heck I am talking about, so I guess I should explain myself before sounding like a complete idiot on top of the insanity I already suffer everyday =).....

Let's talk about - Horribly Hateful - we all know my road rage is completely all consuming when I drive anywhere...and I never thought it could get worse...

BOY WAS I WRONG!!!

For some reason now, when my wheels hit the pavement, I morph into "Queen of the Road"....I feel entitled to whatever lane, speed, or anything related to what I want. It's complete insanity. Example:

I can be rolling along in my own wide open lane....quite content that there's no one behind me, in front of me, or even beside me...I am Queen of my stretch of highway.....suddenly some jerk feels like they are entitled to join me and even have the nerve to share my lane by getting in front of me!!! Then I start mouthing unfriendly, hateful type things......now in hind sight this poor guy didn't do anything except merge when he got on the highway, he didn't slow me down, he merely decided to use the same lane. Now I know, and you know that he's looking in his rear view mirror thinking that I have gone completely mental...and he may be right!!! My favorite is when I decide I need to change lanes to get off the highway or just want to......god forbid if some poor soul is already occupying where I want to be!!! Then, once again, I start mouthing harsh mean things and I hit the gas and speed around them to get in front. Now that poor person was doing nothing but minding their own business, doing their thing. Now they too, are looking at me like I just escaped from the loony bin and they're wondering who they need to call to take me back!!! It's getting utterly incomprehensible, my responses to really nothing!!! If I'm following behind someone - they're too slow. If I'm in front of someone - they're riding my butt. If someone is in the lane next to me - they need to speed up or slow down.....it's almost as if I am entitled to drive however I want but they MUST follow what I want or expect them to do or it gets ugly.....

Say it with me........ C-R-A-Z-Y.....cause that's how I feel when I sit back and think about it!!!

NOW...let's talk about - Suddenly Sad. Okay, this one drives me nuts. I can be happy as a clam one minute......laughing, smiling, giggling....well you get the picture....suddenly, like a flash of lightening, I start thinking some horrible thought and I want to cry. Some times I can't even tell you WHAT the thought was to begin with. I just will feel sad, blue,"end of the world" like, for no particular reason. I'm sure, that some of you ladies can sympathize, but the guys are like - crazy chick!!! Maybe so.....but I can honestly say I do my best to try and NOT let it get to me. Every once in a while I lose, but I do the best I can.....it could be WAY worse.....TRUST ME!!!

Now...to my final hormonal nightmare - Awfully Anxious. Okay, so normally those of you that know me, you know I already worry myself sick over a lot of things....but now....it's a million times worse. I know, impossible right??? WRONG!!! It's like this impending sense of doom that never quite goes away. It lessens a bit, enough for you to put it in the back of your mind, but never goes completely away. Feeling like you're waiting for something bad to happen takes a lot out of you. It invades your dreams, makes you get up in the middle of the night just to make sure you WERE dreaming. I have gone through quite a lot this past year and I have to get through to my ever stressing brain that I am now in a good place. That things ARE going to be good. Being awfully anxious almost kept me from wanting to put out any of our little girl's stuff, almost like if I did, then something was going to go wrong and none of it would ever be used. it's almost like living in a dream. You know what's happening but you keep thinking to yourself that you don't deserve it, or that it's just wayyyyy to good to be true. I constantly look for reassurance that everything is going to be good, that she is going to be here in October, and that we are - in fact - going to be parents!!! I'm sure every once in a while Joe would love to shake me silly until I stop with the worries, and frankly....I don't blame him!!! But he never loses patience and keeps saying those reassuring things and it helps. I wish there was a switch in my brain that I could just flip and turn it off, but I can't. I must live with it. I am hoping that when she is born it will ease up some, but something tells me I'll just have a whole new batch of stuff to worry myself over!!! WHOO HOOOO!!!

I think most of these problems are DEFINITELY hormonally based and are definitely effected by the major body changes going on here, I hope for people's sake some of this lets up soon!!!!! I hope for my own sanity that some of this lightens up quickly =)!!!