Starting to freak out!!

Okay....

So lately I have been gathering all the things I will need to take to the hospital.....and frankly...just THINKING about the hospital is sort of ....

well......

FREAKING ME OUT!!

Last week - Joe and I did the Childbirth Prep Class at St. John's. It was sort of a crash course filled with lots of videos of women with awful contorted faces in pain and the whole experience really was no comfort....I hate pain. I am a giant cry baby.....I feel bad for poor Joe, who will probably want to kill me before this is all over.....

I have 5 weeks left and it still seems like it's forever away....

Yesterday was a productive day off....I spent it cleaning her room, washing all her blankets and clothes (and MAN there was alot of clothes)....I wanted to cry holding her tiny little socks, just thinking that in a few weeks there will be teeny tiny little feet to put those on just brought tears to my eyes....Damn hormones =)...part of me is soooo excited and ready for her to be here, the other part kind of likes her where she is - No crying =)....I am NOT the world's most patient person...as if you didn't know that already....and when out in public, other people's screaming kids make me want to yank my hair out. I hear that it changes when they're yours.....man I hope so. Even with my nieces and nephews, I tend to run short on the patience side. I feel horrible about it, but a fact is a fact. Even my pups tend to drive me batty at least once a week....or more like once a day these days =)....Joe is one of the most patient people I know, so hopefully together we can manage to do an awesome job.....

I was also extra surprised to learn that I had to pick a pediatrician before they'd even let our baby girl come home!! Ummm...wouldn't you think that my doctor should have maybe given me that important little piece of info?? Uh, yeah....he's pretty much useless and if I ever have another one, I will NOT be using them. I got a referral from the instructor at class and I called them today. I have an appointment to meet with her. Does anyone have any idea what I am supposed to ask? At least we will have one and they can't keep our little girl hostage =)...

It's kind of amazing the things they want you to pack for the hospital....there's like a list of 30 things!! Stuff like - aromatherapy oil, snacks, and the funniest written on the list was on the list for stuff for Joe.......

- Mints or chewing gum for fresh breath because your partner may be extra sensitive to odors during labor!!

Wow...they are really worried that a hormonal woman might come unglued cause their mate has bad breath...Sheesh.... what am I about to turn into??? They also suggest you bring a video camers...Uh...NO...there's no way in hell anyone is video taping ANYTHING that comes out from down there!!! A camera for afterward?? Most definitely, but during..NO WAY.

How about a "Hot Rice Sock"???? Anyone??? Have never in my life heard of this...

I almost feel like I'm planning for a romantic weekend getaway....music, LED candle, Aromatherapy oil, massage oils.......isn't this what got us into this to begin with?!? =).......I have the bags packed...well at least one with most of that stuff including toothpaste, tooth brushes, deodorant....etc....I want to be a little presentable when people come to see her!!! I did remember to pack all these things for Daddy to be as well as snacks and stuff for him. I just hope we remember to grab the bags when it's time!! I can see us running out the door with out it =)....then WHAT???

I'm trying to decide what to pack for little miss to bring her home in. It supposed to be October...will it be warm? Cool? I have no idea!!! There's so much to remember and try and have ready!! My Mom makes fun of me for always being OVER-PREPARED.....oh well, I guess we all have our issues!! I'd rather be over than under-prepared...how about you??

There are lots of things I am REALLY looking forward to:

Holding her for the first time.
Looking at her face.
Holding her tiny hands in mine.
Listening to her breathe.
Smelling that baby smell =)
Sharing her with Joe.
Being able to walk normal =)
Being able to like food again.

I want to cry just thinking about the first few things =) ......Damn hormones

I'm sure I will be worrying my little head off between now and 5 weeks from now =) Feel free to share your advice on how to deal in the mean time =)