Holy Redneck Christmas.......

Well........

I'm not quite sure if this qualifies as "redneck" or not but by definition "redneck" means "a glorious lack of sophistication" , so I guess this qualifies........

For those of you that don't remember - I live in an apartment complex. It's not bad if you forget the fact that somewhere along my application process I pissed someone off enough to stick me in the BACK of the apartment complex. Being in the back of the complex is similar to riding the short bus to school.....all the degenerates live there. I endured a summer of beer drinking hoosiers playing poor man's golf (game similar to horse shoes) in the middle of the parking lot....That was a whole other post from my previous blog, so I will not subject you to that again. My point is - I figured I was getting a break since the weather has now become far too cold for them to drink their swill (Busch Beer in a can, the ULTIMATE redneck drink of choice) and play on the blacktop. But .........sadly, I have a new reminder of their existence.....

It seems that every year that my wonderful apartment complex holds a contest....

This contest promises the winner $300.00 off their January rent, wanna guess what the contest is???

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CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!!

That's right, whomever has the best Christmas light display on their balcony or patio wins $300.00 off their rent. Notice I said "the best" apparently in "redneck" speak, this means "the most"..........I never in my wildest imagination thought someone could fit "25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights" - Clark Grizwald style- on a balcony that is maybe 8 ft wide and 4 ft deep. But seeing is believing and I ASSURE you it has been done...take a drive thru my little complex and make sure you leave the LSD at home........lights lights and more lights. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas lights more than anything, tastefully done that is. This is no where near tasteful. I would be willing to bet that these idiots spent MORE than $300.00 on the flashing, strobbing nightmare their balcony/patio's have become. How dumb can you be???? The redneck clan that lives in the building adajecnt to mine has enough crap on his balcony that you can barely make out what stuff is!!!! OVERKILL - at it's finest!!! It took me 20 minutes to figure out some of what they had:

4 Foot Tall GREEN Candy Cane - hung on the siding NEXT to the balcony

2 5ft Wide Red Bells

1 Huge Ass Snowflake

1 Huge Wreath of some sort

and about 5,000 lights of all kinds!!!!

That's just one of about 15 or so that are decorated so far......I'm scared to see what the future holds for the rest of them......guess I'll be digging my sunglasses back out for my drive home......